You can learn a lot from streetlights…These days, city planners are moving to sodium vapor, which glows slightly orange, so from outer space the colors tell you which part of town is new, and which old.
1. Internships are the building blocks of your résumé. Apply to them. Meet people.
2. Choose a degree that is relevant to the real world. Minor in History if you love it so much.
3. Everyone knows how to use Microsoft Office. Putting it under the “Skills” section of your résumé is not impressive.
4. See the world. This is the only time you have in your life to spend months in a foreign country. Take advantage of your lack of responsibility to travel.
5. 99.9% of employers will never look at your transcript. A 4.0 GPA will not land you a job. Good interpersonal skills might.
6. No employer cares whether you were on the executive board of your fraternity or sorority or other campus organization. Serve the organization because you love it, not simply to use it as space-filler on your résumé.
7. Proofread everything. Twice. Or else no one will believe that you’re “detial-oriented.”
8. You have four (or five) years to make something of yourself. Use that time wisely.
9. Go out with your friends on a Tuesday night despite having a test on Wednesday. The test won’t matter in ten years, but your friendships will.
10. Do not expect the college senior to fall in love with you after you sleep together. Actually, just don’t sleep together. This will not end well.
11. Really get to know your professors. Use office hours to your advantage. You never know what doors they can open for you.
12. Graduate school is rarely a good idea, especially if you’re only using it to delay the real world for a few years. The more money you make now, the less debt you’ll have later.
13. Realize that you will be in debt until you’re forty. Make peace with this early.
14. One bad grade won’t ruin your life. Get over yourself.
15. Beware of credit cards. No matter what they say, money isn’t free.
16. Don’t burn bridges. You never know when you might need help from someone.
17. Eat good food. Nothing will make you feel worse than six straight nights of Ramen.
18. Buy a plunger before you actually need said plunger. Just trust me on this one.
19. Press save. It will keep you from having that 4:00am mental breakdown.
20. All-nighters will not help you learn the material. Budget time throughout the day to study so that you can actually sleep before the final exam.
21. Use a condom. No one wants that “I’m late” text.
22. Work during the summers. Employers want someone with real-life experience.
23. Call your mom once a week. She wants to stay involved in your life, and a twenty-minute phone conversation won’t kill you.
24. You have four years to learn your alcohol limit. This will save you from puking at the office Christmas party.
25. The college cafeteria will make you fat. So will alcohol. Be careful about what you’re putting into your body.
26. Find a few hours each week to work out. Cardio is great stress relief.
27. So is sex. Booty calls are sometimes necessary. Don’t beat yourself up for it in the morning.
28. Learn to cook. Eating out is expensive and unhealthy. A few basics can last you a long time.
29. Take pictures. Not everything has to be posted to Instagram, but you will want to have these memories documented.
30. Volunteer. Not because you have to, but because you want to. The Humane Society always needs people to play with the animals.
31. Learn how to budget. Your parents won’t be around to give you money forever.
32. Buy shower shoes. Use them. Save yourself from foot fungus.
33. Beer is expensive. Buy vodka.
34. Interviews are nerve-wracking. Practice with a friend before you go.
35. Find good references. They can be the difference between being offered your dream job and being turned down.
36. It’s okay to turn down your first job offer to wait for a better one. Have faith in yourself.
37. If you’re treated like a slave at your internship, it’s okay to leave. Find a company that sees your worth.
38. Learn how to code HTML. This is an invaluable skill.
39. Also learn Photoshop. Every company in the world needs someone who can design a poster.
40. Take a couple classes just for fun. There’s a difference between smart and educated.
41. Know your priorities. Stick to them.
42. Start searching for a job a year before you graduate. It takes time to find something you want.
43. Apply for jobs you may not be completely qualified for. You may be the only applicant.
44. Don’t get too discouraged when you fail at something. Lay in bed for two days. Cry. Then get back up and start living again.
45. Everyone has something to teach you. Listen to them.
46. Make mistakes, but be sure to learn from them.
47. Textbooks are expensive and you will never need them again. Rent, don’t buy.
48. No one will ever care how wasted you were last night. They saw it first hand. Shut up.
49. No one is responsible for you except you. Think twice before you do something.
50. Don’t think that these have to be the best four years of your life. Life after graduation is pretty awesome too.
As long as women’s natural body hair is called disgusting and inappropriate while men’s isn’t, I am a feminist.
As long as I can’t watch an episode of a popular sitcom without having to sit through multiple sexist comments or “jokes”, I am a feminist.
As long as women have to face the rational fear of being sexually assaulted every time they walk home past dark while men don’t, I am a feminist.
As long as misogyny exists in any country in this world, I am a feminist.
As long as women are being raped, then stoned to death or forced to marry their rapist, I am a feminist.
As long as companies promote men to manager when there are women who are equally as or better qualified, because they find that men look more authoritative, I am a feminist.
As long as women (her choice of clothes, her friendly nature, her weakness, her choice to drink alcohol) get blamed when men rape them, I am a feminist.
As long women’s opinions on online social networks are dismissed with phrases like “tits or gtfo”, “get back to the kitchen”, “are you pms’ing?”, I am a feminist.
As long as dressing like a women is degrading for men and as long as men are insulted with phrases like “you throw like a woman”, clearly implying that being like a woman is shameful, I am a feminist.
As long as both men are women are expected to work, but taking care of children and the household are still largely considered a woman’s job, I am a feminist.
As long as boys and girls are treated differently, expected to act differently, and surrounded by different toys and colours from the day they are born, I am a feminist.
As long as topless women aren’t allowed in public unless they’re on the cover of a men’s magazine, I am a feminist.
As long as women who have sex frequently are generally told they are “sluts”, “lacking self-respect” and “lacking morals” by both men and women, while men who frequently have sex are “just being men” and it’s “natural for them”, I am a feminist.
As long as there are places where women have to pay more for health insurance than men, I am a feminist.
As long as men experience situations with equal gender representation as female-dominated, and don’t consider a group discussion equal unless there are significantly more men then women participants (as has been proven), I am a feminist.
As long as there are men who think it’s their wife or girlfriend’s duty to have sex with him whenever he wants, I am a feminist.
As long as the word feminism (“the movement aimed at equal rights for women”) has a negative connotation, I am a feminist.
As long as misogynist people exist, I am a feminist.